I would really love to write a blog about something meaningful and important. But, I lack the wakefulness required for that. I also lack the brain power. I think that since Haven's been born, my IQ has dropped at least 23 points. I go into rooms and can't remember why I'm there. I forget words. I'm not old enough to have senior moments, so it must be the almost 7 months without 8 hours sleep in one nice chunk. I do always remember to eat, though, so things can't be that bad.
In addition, I feel like my spiritual life is on hold. I'm not heavily involved in any occult activities, but I'm also not hosting revivals in my house either. There must be an in-between. I think that's where I am. I'm the peanut butter between the bread. A little salty and a little sweet. I hope that doesn't mean luke-warm because if you've read Revelation, then you know that's a dangerous place to be. Does God make exceptions for tired moms and dads? I think he must because I don't feel any deep condemnation. I kind of feel like He's waiting on the other end of the line for me to pick up. It isn't often that I view God very lovingly. Not because He hasn't shown me His love for me, but because it's easier to view Him as a guy with His hand raised to strike. But, for some strange reason He seems so tender and patient right now.
Sometimes at night when I hold Haven and think about how He promised her to me, I am overwhelmed. Isn't that just like Him to overwhelm? I like that about my God. His mercy, His goodness. And His ability to make a grand gesture.