Chris: Potter Extraordinaire

For Christmas, I bought Chris pottery lessons at a studio down the way. Quite a few years ago I took a pottery class with my mom and when he found some of the pots that I threw he laughed (we were a brand-spankin' newly married couple too).

Actually, they weren't pots that I threw, they were called pinch pots, and admittedly, they were pretty awful. Probably more so because of the glaze that I chose. The pots that I actually threw on the wheel were passable. I mean, I think my brother proudly displayed one on the back of his toilet seat for years. That can be a place of honor depending on your perspective.

Anyway, I thought pottery would be a nice distraction for him since his foot was broken and it's not really riding season. Here's a picture of what he produced. Unfortunately for me, I was pretty impressed. OK, really impressed. He showed me up. Not that surprising since creatively speaking, he's rather brilliant. Which can be kind of irritating since I'm not. Hey, I produced a pretty cute kid (even if Chris did help out with that). I can't be good at everything.

Stuck

I guess it is snowing a tad bit more here than anticipated. I'm basing that on the fact that they've closed I-40 through the canyon, Route 66, and Highway 14 (all the routes to our house) because there were so many car accidents the police couldn't keep up.

I didn't know the roads were that bad, so I made an attempt to get to town about an hour ago. I got as far as 14 before I turned around. It looks to me like we already have about 3-4 inches and the roads are unplowed and therefore slippery. I was proud of myself for actually making the attempt in my little car because I'm not very comfortable driving on slick roads. Having a baby in the back seat makes me even more uncomfortable. I never go very fast, so having a car accident where she could be injured is not what I worry about. I worry about getting stuck and having to trudge a few miles in the snow with a baby. That would be a bummer.

So, I made it a few miles and decided that if the roads got any worse I wouldn't be able to make it back home and decided to head back. Also, I'd just passed police cars directing traffic around an accident, and that doesn't add to my confidence level. I made it down Frost, even did well on the super hairy turn, and then got stuck in the middle of my street right in front of our driveway.

I was blocking the whole road. Granted, it's not a very busy road, but still. And, of course as I was trying to maneuver my way out of this situation, there was a big truck at the top of the hill waiting on me. Fantastic. I always like a little added pressure. It didn't help, though. I turned my tires left and right, went forward and back to no avail. We were just spinning. I pulled the dogs out of the back and took Haven from the car seat in hopes that the person in the truck waiting on me would offer to come push while I drove. No such luck. The truck attempted to back up on the hill and somehow ended up in the ditch that runs alongside our road. Which is exactly what I was trying to avoid in my car. All my twisting and turning had resulted in my inching closer and closer to the ditch, but I stopped before I hit it. So, essentially, I had got two vehicles stuck. A kindly neighbor came along and offered to help (not the people in the truck). He dug out the tires a bit, put some salt under them and then drove my car into the driveway. And, then went on up the hill to dig out the other guy.

Chris was on his way up to help me, but that's when we learned that they'd shut all the roads down in order to deal with all the accidents. And, I was so proud of myself for my superior driving abilities. Only to get stuck in the last 4 feet before my drive.

Let it Snow

Lovin' the Snow Tunnel her daddy dug her

I love this snow so much!

(She kept face-planting in it so she could eat it)

We had to bring her inside, despite protesting, because her

little face was so red.

Ain't Nuthin' but a Gansta Party

White Trash Sledding

The Un-Housekeeper

Haven is learning the fine art of disassembling the house piece by piece by piece. I've learned to wait until about 30 minutes before Chris comes home and then I do a rapid clean up. Otherwise I could spend the whole of the day picking up pots and pans, CDs and DVDs, books, etc. off the floor. This way, Chris thinks that Haven and I exist in a beautiful bubble of tranquility all day long. That our daughter, if ever she makes a mess, knows exactly where things go and how to put them back.

How McKean Are You Test?

How McKean Are You?**

This test was developed to match mates based on 100 levels of compatibility

1. Let’s say you have a light fixture in the bathroom that holds 3 light bulbs, how do you deal with this?

a. I would never buy a light fixture like that.

b. I only make use of one of the bulbs, turning the others off. I’ve worked out the cost of using the other two outlets and this saves me 4 cents a month.

c. If there are three places for light bulbs, I use all three.

2. You notice that the razor you use to shave with wears out more quickly than you think it should, what do you do?

a. I let my hair grow naturally and would never think to take a razor to what nature has inspired.

b. I write the date I purchased the razor on said razor and then I determine how long said razor should last (compared to days of yore), then I throw it away when a reasonable amount of time has passed (say, two or more years)

c. I throw it away.

3. You’ve just used the last of the onion that was stored in a zip-lock bag, what do you do?

a. I recycle plastic, so it goes in the recycle bin

b. I recycle plastic, so I reuse it over and over until one day it is sacrificed (because of it’s age) to the gods of piping deviled eggs.

c. I throw it away. It smells like onions.

4. You’ve just bought a pair of new shoes, what’s your first thought?

a. Before I bought them I checked to make sure they were faux leather. Then I made sure no animals were harmed while they were being made.

b. I date them on the sole to see how long they will last. I’m pretty certain that my shoes would still be wearable (or that I would still wear them) even if they were involved in a nuclear disaster.

c. I hope these look OK with my new jeans.

5. You are about to make a new purchase, but before you do, you look on the bottom of said purchase to

a. see if it is a type 1 or 2 plastic and therefore recyclable

b. see if it was made in the good ol’ U. S. of A; if so, you buy it; if not you curse NAFTA, the EPA, & globalism for giving the job of making cheap plastic crap to foreigners.

c. you don’t look at the bottom of said purchase, if you like it you buy it

6. You are hungry. And eating at home just won’t do, where do you go?

a. There are three things you look for: Vegan, organically grown, gluten-free

b. Buffet all the way—if it ain’t fried, it ain’t going in my pie hole

c. Whatever sounds good. I’m flexible.

7. Your philosophy on life is:

a. Reuse, Reduce, Recycle

b. If it’s not Efficient, don’t buy it, don’t use it, divorce it

c. Carpe Diem

8. How do you like to be prepared for an emergency?

a. you have gallons of distilled water & packages of whole, roasted almonds from Whole Foods enough to last two weeks.

b. you have a flash-light, a back-up flash-light, and a back-up to your back-up flashlight on your bedside table.

c. Emergency? I’ll deal with it when it happens.

9. I just ate a particularly heavy meal. What do I do?

a. I do a cleanse, have a session of Bikram Yoga, and meditate on the evils of excess.

b. I see a therapist. Fiber Therapy—one session and I’m cured.

c. I enjoy the feeling of fullness, but determine that next time I’ll eat lighter so I can enjoy the day more.

10. How do you coordinate your ensemble?

a. you match your hemp shoes to your recycled plastic t-shirt.

b. your man-hose match whatever you wear so it’s never really a problem.

c. you try to make sure the colors don’t clash.

11. Your favorite author is:

a. The Dali Lama

b. God & Chuck Missler

c. New York Times Op Ed

12. What are some of the gifts you’ve bought for your significant other?

a. Fairly-traded, non-sweat-shop, non-animal tested items

b. a hand-gun. We live in the great state of Texas—we should take advantage of the right to conceal a weapon. Plus, Pampa is known for its violent crime.

c. a throw from Pottery Barn

How to Score:

If your answers are mostly-

A’s: you are the antitheses of a McKean. At first glance some of your frugal, green, environmentally-friendly ways seem very McKean like. However, if saving the planet, decreasing your carbon foot-print, or saving the polar ice-caps are even a small part of your motivation, then you are, in fact, the very opposite of a McKean.

B’s: Welcome to the Family. Your very first act as a new McKean will be to purchase a deep-fat fryer & treat yourself to a nice buffet dinner.

C’s: Your happy, go-lucky lifestyle inhibits you from becoming a McKean. Your blissed out philosophy on life is causing you to lose pennies every year. Try harder to analyze your water usage down to the drop.

**As always, I have my father-in-law, Allen, to thank for the inspiration of this test. I took all of the "B" answers from real-life doctrines, teachings, and habits of the Ultimate McKean.