Sunday, March 28, 2010

Weighty Issues

Now that summer is approaching and we have a few vacations on the horizon, it occurred to me that accompanying the warm weather and buds on the trees is also that most dreadful time: swim-suit shopping.

Oh, pre-pregnancy weight, how you elude me! So, what am I supposed to do? I haven't actually tested this theory of mine out yet, but I'm pretty sure that I will not feel confident in my swim-suits of yore. I fear that is in my future (this is from

I would like to avoid the leggings/skirt/print combo. I only have a few requirements for this season's swim-suit:

1: I don't want to look like a mom in a bikini. I want to look like I'm sixteen and I can eat hamburgers and french-fries all the live long day and not put on an ounce of fat.

2: I don't want to see any cellulite. It doesn't matter that I gained so much weight with Haven that my body reached a surplus and thus started depositing fat wherever it could at a frantic pace. I don't want to see it.

3. I'd like to show off my six-pack abs. I don't actually have them, but I want to look like I do; instead of the loose skin that was left behind (accidentally?) after birth.

It truly is a predicament. I'm not ready for a one-piece with a skirt attached. But, I think I'm too old and too post baby for a bikini. Someone said that mom's are the reason the tank-ini was made. Maybe my issue is that I'm not quite ready to look like a mom. Mom's wear 80's jeans and curl their bangs under. I'm way too cool to look like a mom.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

You make me laugh. And you're beautiful. All I've gotta say is... please don't wear a burkini.

Oh - and did you see the post at Rage Against the Minivan about bootcut jeans being the new mom jeans?! If so - I'm already there! I actually went out and bought a pair of skinny jeans just because of that!!