Saying Thanks:

We are not even sure how to begin showing our appreciation to all of you, our family and friends. Walking through the past few weeks have been the most difficult experience of our lives. It is by no means over and the love for our child is real and will never be forgotten, but healing is coming. As alone as we felt, we were never left alone. Our Father, family, and friends have been there with us. It seems the lines have blurred between family and friends over the past few months and this experience has sealed that there is little distinction between the two.

We love you all and thank you for your prayers, emails, cards, letters, thoughts, conversations, compassion, and most of all for your love.

Chris & Jane

Losing Our Baby

There really aren't words to describe this experience. These two pictures are the only things I have to catalogue our baby's short life. The first one is the piece of paper the doctor gave me confirming my pregnancy. The second one is the wrist band I wore at the hospital on Tuesday night when they gave me an ultrasound showing where the baby should be but wasn't. I will never forget watching the screen and seeing nothing but black space where my baby should have been.

Family Reunion

Ahh! Huge sigh of relief to finally be back home with my girls and not in a car. Our weekend was spent in the super windy city of Pampa with the whole of the McKean family (well, the immediate family). Carrie and Jacob are back from China temporarily. It is always fun to hang out with my sister-in-laws. I don't know how I got so lucky.
Majaunta tried to fatten me up with biscuits and gravy (my favorite breakfast), and for the first time ever I ate my way through a whole foot long sub at Subway. It was veggie, so perhaps that will seem more tempered.
The weekend was nice and relaxing, Carrie brought me back a scarf that I had lusted after in Beijing...somehow she managed to get the price down to a reasonable rate (I had no luck when I tried in December, but I imagine her Chinese is much better than mine).
The only downside to the trip was the 6 1/2 hour drive it took to get back...we were given a truck in order to bring home our new A/C, heater, and year's worth of pellets for our stove. The poor truck isn't the fastest of vehicles and up the hills it topped 40 mph. I followed Chris the whole way and without him to chat with or even the dogs to keep me company it was a long journey. Now we just have to wait for our handyman (Chris's dad) to come put in all our new equipment. Thank goodness I won't be pregnant and hot in the middle of the summer.